Your duty in life is to lead

This past weekend was a monumental lesson for me in the reason for men’s existence. I don’t mean in the philosophical meaning of life type way but more so in us recognizing our role to actually TAKE HOLD of what it means to be male.

This past weekend I had a first date with some broad from the burbs. It didn’t go well in the success story of a bang but what it did is it taught me a lesson that I have been wary to learn for a very long time.

So I had been invited to a 10 year High School Reunion. You know, those places where you have to prove how awesome you’ve become over the loser/awesome person they already knew. Anyway, feeling honored I had the chance to be someone’s eye candy, I agreed.

I show up. It’s a sports bar. We chat for like 30 minutes. Her classmates start showing up. She is weak in introducing me so I have to do it myself. Before you know it I was working the room, all the girls loved me and all the guys acknowledged my awesomeness. If this was my High School reunion I am thinking the reception might have been slightly different.

As time goes on and she sees her classmate approval of me being VERY high (as she notices all the women there taking very well to me), escalation with her (kissing, making out, all the good stuff) is super easy. I pull her in to kiss in front of everyone. She digs it. Things are great.

About halfway through the date she tells me she isn’t trying to be exclusive. No biggie I figure. I sure the fuck ain’t so good for us to get this out of the way soon enough. However a few minutes later as she gets away from me I see her hitting up this guy from her old HS. After a time she steps out (I only find out about this later as I walk out to look for her) and she is there. Chatting him up. Whatever I thought. Dumb broad isn’t worth it and she just dissed me this way. I told her I was leaving. She said OK. I kiss her goodbye in front of him and walk to my car.

Wait.

I said fuck this. See too many times I have been dissed on a first date and it has gone to shit. I never said anything. I just chalked it to there’s something wrong with me so on to the next one. Not this fucking time.

I go back to the both of them talking. I say to him “hey can I borrow her for a minute?”. He says “sure no problem! I wasn’t even trying to do anything. I am so sorry. This was nothing”. Very apologetic. Very gentleman like. I knew I liked her High School classmates.

I pull her off to the side (this is by the entrance). I want to make sure people see us. I calmly tell her where and when she went wrong. I make sure to explain that this is unacceptable behavior on a first date. She looks down and apologizes. At this point I tell her “I don’t give a fuck what you do but you will NOT disrespect me. Am I clear?” She replies “yes. It won’t happen again. Will you text me tomorrow?” I don’t answer. I leave and pay my tab.

Will I text her again and try something? I don’t know nor do I care. At this point this story wasn’t about doing anything in particular with her or what the outcome of the first date was. At this point I went in my car and started to debrief myself on what women need.

Truth is, men, women need us to tell them what to do. They don’t have guidance in their life. Women’s shit tests are preparation for raising our daughters. If we can’t handle women’s shit tests now then our daughters (and sons) will grow defiant and become criminals who run around thinking shit doesn’t have consequences in life. Truth be told after this display I should have just humiliated her in public and called it a day. What I do know is I give zero fucks where this girl goes in life and it’s all a revolving door. But another thing I know is that having to assert oneself as the boss in front of an unruly bitch is not only routine, but we as men have to welcome it.

That’s right. Whenever someone gives you a shit test, whenever someone disrespects you, you need to call them out on it. You’re not doing this to prove yourself necessarily as you’re doing this because the world lets evil get away with itself time and time again and I can understand why. Men let bad people be themselves. In the case of women we shy away from telling them when they’re wrong.

Don’t be afraid to tell a woman she’s wrong. But also, don’t get mad when you do it. Being mad at a woman is a sure way to give her power over you. Instead let them know how disappointed you are and how much it makes them look like shit. Basically, talk down to them as if you were their father. Honestly this is part of the whole having a girl see you as “daddy”. These weak creatures have no guidance and need it. Now it’s up to you to decide whether you want to give the guidance or not but know this: not giving guidance to a woman you’re involved with will put you in a world of hurt.

In this life we must take the reins and realize this is our job. In the event we choose not to do this, life will punish us rightly.

As for High School reunion girl we probably won’t cross paths again. That night was more for me to do something I had never done before, and that’s call a bitch out on her shit immediately. Let this be only the beginning of more of this to come. I will go forward welcoming shit tests and enjoy beating them down. After all, that’s why we are here.

Nice to meet you

Let’s talk about how I have no need to sell you anything. I am a guy who grew up in relative comfort with everything I needed. I don’t have some sob story about poverty or how I pulled myself up from my bootstraps. This isn’t that kind of blog. I don’t have secrets to share or any of that nonsense. I have stories to tell. I want you to know me for me.

My hardships (if you can call them that) happened upon puberty. I was so awkward with women. I was a 5’2 brown skinned kid in high school. I had no idea how to flirt. I once took a girl waving at me so seriously I developed a crush on her and ended up writing some inappropriate love notes that got me kicked out of school. All in freshman year.

We can talk about how I had such a heavy crush on this one Black chick who gave me so many chances to woo her (to the point we even rode the bus home together) and I still didn’t make a move. Talk about being a pussy. Or how when I was in college I barely had the courage to talk to women in my own classes. Or how I finally got my first kiss at 23 (the one at 20 didn’t count as she turned her cheek and we didn’t lock lips). Or how when I first had sex with my first “lover” at 23 I had to lie and say I wasn’t a virgin. Or maybe how this one Christian chick whom I saw for 2 whole dates had me obsessed for a year.

See I was the epitome of a beta male. Or gamma or whatever. Perpetually afraid to make moves, always afraid of confrontation, and just all around a man child. No wonder women were repelled by me. I had good intentions of being a strong male for them and all they could find in me were faults.

Anyway, I want to tell you stories of myself. I want this blog to show you that I am a man like you. I have no idea what the fuck I am doing and learning as I go. I am not like those swindlers who claim they arrived to their destination of hotties and now can take you on your way there. Nope. I do have good stories though. Like when I fucked a girl for almost 4 hours straight on our 2nd date. Or how I choked and slapped a woman into orgasm and had her begging me for more. Or how I got a woman so obsessed and to chase and stalk me so hard (without having sex with her!!) that she managed to find my workplace and my own boss had to lie for me to cover my ass (okay that wasn’t actually a good story). I have those good stories, too. I have painful and pathetic stories of walking through suburban streets crying for a woman to look at me, to stories of Siffredi like sex where a woman basically became my sex slave and would do anything for me sexually. You get it all here.

You’ll get to know about my long distance online relationships that went nowhere. You will get to know about a girl going down on me the first date while in my car parked on a main busy street while I hoped the cops wouldn’t pull us over. You will get to know how women would yell at me in public and humiliate me. You will get to know how I fingered an 18 year old girl outside of a Chipotle where the cops were grabbing lunch. You get pathetic me and triumphant me all here. You will hear how a cute blonde in college told me I wasn’t a real man (hell you will read how MANY people told me that). You will read about my 2nd date with a hot redhead who I boned in a closet while her friend napped in another room. You get the point.

Come along with me on this journey and get to know me. Hopefully you get something out of it. I know that I had moments where I would pray to God that I would leave this Earth knowing I did the right thing. My stories are here to inspire you men to do the same. I have spent much of my life wondering how I can serve other people. I feel like I was put on this Earth to guide my fellow man. I hope you get a lot out of this and that we can learn together and grow as brothers on this journey called life.

L’chaim or whatever the fuck that phrase is.