One of the monumental lessons in being a guy is that you essentially have to be OK with the decisions you make. I don’t mean this in a “not learn from your mistakes” kind of way but also to understand WHY you did what you did at the time and to not regret it given the circumstances.
In other words, if there is an action you WANT to take because of how much you feel it is the right one at the moment, then as a man you need to TAKE that action.
Take interacting with women for example. How many times have you been sitting there next to a girl and then feeling like you want to say something but you can’t bring yourself to do it? Pretty annoying isn’t it? Nah fuck annoying. That shit EATS at you. You can’t take being “not able” to be you. But honestly why? Why do we always second guess ourselves?
Being raised by a single mother (God Bless her) means I didn’t have positive male role models to show me exactly how to “emote” as a man. Basically I learned behavior mostly from women. Well that’s all well and good if you’re gay or otherwise not into girls but if you’re a straight guy that feels the brunt of women ignoring you, having feminine emotions is a killer.
Part of owning your shit is what distinguishes us from women. Women need to be led and actually PREFER if a guy owns the decision for them as opposed to making it themselves. It’s as if women are looking at 1 million options and being confused. We as men aren’t hardwired to think that way, which is why it really hurts us more when we don’t make decisions.
If you look at it from a natural selection perspective, why would a physically weaker creature (a woman) look for a man who isn’t going to be sure of himself? A woman by nature isn’t sure of herself and needs guidance. Men who can’t provide guidance to even themselves are the least trustworthy. That’s why women feel certain men are creepy. One side of being creepy is a man who is an absolute perv and has no social regard. That is not the side I speak of. The side I speak of is the one where a guy is so unsure of how to interact with a girl because he isn’t owning his own reality. So he says weird shit, he doesn’t have any sort of strong frame (aka sure of his own shit), so women just get a strange vibe. They can’t place what it is but from an evolutionary perspective it’s a vibe of “this guy can’t protect and care for me because he has no idea what he is doing”. Women love cocksure motherfuckers. These are the guys known as “jerks”. Really this is just code word for “guy who is sure of himself so he doesn’t take shit”. If you’ve been around guys who are considered jerks you notice they share nothing in common except they are convinced of every fucking thing they say. Whether they’re wrong or not, women sense this and get the tingles.
Consider this. Say you’re really into a girl. You want to tell her you’re into her. But you’re afraid of what she’ll think. You’re afraid because rejection doesn’t feel good. But honestly why spend time around a person who doesn’t want your advances? Do you really fucking care about a friendship with a hot girl, honestly? Or do you want her?
But Fit, you say, isn’t the best way to go about this to act all cocky and funny and to bust her balls and do all that shit? Well yes and we’re not here to talk about methods, but let’s go beneath why you feel bad about being rejected. Because if you’re rejected, something is wrong with you.
But by you not taking action, you already rejected yourself. Call me crazy but by now I want to be rejected. Because I am so done with wasting my fucking time with people that there is simply no reason I need to waste my short life away pining over someone who doesn’t give a shit. I would rather know now.
But let’s put this into technique. Say you really want a girl. Fuck telling her you like her. Show it. Make a move. If she pulls away you just exit the convo and go about your merry day. Yeah that shit stings and people might look. But guess what. Nobody fucking cares except you. Isn’t that freeing?
So the next time you want to make a decision, just own your decision. If you can’t own not making a move in any aspect of life then guess what? You have to make the move. I would rather live with myself knowing I tried too hard than not tried at all. After all life rewards action and not passive bullshit. If you can’t own your decision then you damn sure better not to do it because THAT will eat at you harder.