This past weekend was a monumental lesson for me in the reason for men’s existence. I don’t mean in the philosophical meaning of life type way but more so in us recognizing our role to actually TAKE HOLD of what it means to be male.
This past weekend I had a first date with some broad from the burbs. It didn’t go well in the success story of a bang but what it did is it taught me a lesson that I have been wary to learn for a very long time.
So I had been invited to a 10 year High School Reunion. You know, those places where you have to prove how awesome you’ve become over the loser/awesome person they already knew. Anyway, feeling honored I had the chance to be someone’s eye candy, I agreed.
I show up. It’s a sports bar. We chat for like 30 minutes. Her classmates start showing up. She is weak in introducing me so I have to do it myself. Before you know it I was working the room, all the girls loved me and all the guys acknowledged my awesomeness. If this was my High School reunion I am thinking the reception might have been slightly different.
As time goes on and she sees her classmate approval of me being VERY high (as she notices all the women there taking very well to me), escalation with her (kissing, making out, all the good stuff) is super easy. I pull her in to kiss in front of everyone. She digs it. Things are great.
About halfway through the date she tells me she isn’t trying to be exclusive. No biggie I figure. I sure the fuck ain’t so good for us to get this out of the way soon enough. However a few minutes later as she gets away from me I see her hitting up this guy from her old HS. After a time she steps out (I only find out about this later as I walk out to look for her) and she is there. Chatting him up. Whatever I thought. Dumb broad isn’t worth it and she just dissed me this way. I told her I was leaving. She said OK. I kiss her goodbye in front of him and walk to my car.
I said fuck this. See too many times I have been dissed on a first date and it has gone to shit. I never said anything. I just chalked it to there’s something wrong with me so on to the next one. Not this fucking time.
I go back to the both of them talking. I say to him “hey can I borrow her for a minute?”. He says “sure no problem! I wasn’t even trying to do anything. I am so sorry. This was nothing”. Very apologetic. Very gentleman like. I knew I liked her High School classmates.
I pull her off to the side (this is by the entrance). I want to make sure people see us. I calmly tell her where and when she went wrong. I make sure to explain that this is unacceptable behavior on a first date. She looks down and apologizes. At this point I tell her “I don’t give a fuck what you do but you will NOT disrespect me. Am I clear?” She replies “yes. It won’t happen again. Will you text me tomorrow?” I don’t answer. I leave and pay my tab.
Will I text her again and try something? I don’t know nor do I care. At this point this story wasn’t about doing anything in particular with her or what the outcome of the first date was. At this point I went in my car and started to debrief myself on what women need.
Truth is, men, women need us to tell them what to do. They don’t have guidance in their life. Women’s shit tests are preparation for raising our daughters. If we can’t handle women’s shit tests now then our daughters (and sons) will grow defiant and become criminals who run around thinking shit doesn’t have consequences in life. Truth be told after this display I should have just humiliated her in public and called it a day. What I do know is I give zero fucks where this girl goes in life and it’s all a revolving door. But another thing I know is that having to assert oneself as the boss in front of an unruly bitch is not only routine, but we as men have to welcome it.
That’s right. Whenever someone gives you a shit test, whenever someone disrespects you, you need to call them out on it. You’re not doing this to prove yourself necessarily as you’re doing this because the world lets evil get away with itself time and time again and I can understand why. Men let bad people be themselves. In the case of women we shy away from telling them when they’re wrong.
Don’t be afraid to tell a woman she’s wrong. But also, don’t get mad when you do it. Being mad at a woman is a sure way to give her power over you. Instead let them know how disappointed you are and how much it makes them look like shit. Basically, talk down to them as if you were their father. Honestly this is part of the whole having a girl see you as “daddy”. These weak creatures have no guidance and need it. Now it’s up to you to decide whether you want to give the guidance or not but know this: not giving guidance to a woman you’re involved with will put you in a world of hurt.
In this life we must take the reins and realize this is our job. In the event we choose not to do this, life will punish us rightly.
As for High School reunion girl we probably won’t cross paths again. That night was more for me to do something I had never done before, and that’s call a bitch out on her shit immediately. Let this be only the beginning of more of this to come. I will go forward welcoming shit tests and enjoy beating them down. After all, that’s why we are here.